Lessons Learned During the Pursuit
It has been a little over 5 years since I’ve had a girlfriend. During these 5 years I have grown content being single. Indeed, I have had much joy seeking and serving the Lord during this time of singleness. Although I have desired to have a wife, I have not actively sought or pursued a wife. Instead, I have focused on being obedient to the Lord as a single young man. There have been three girls that caught my attention during these 5 years, but I did not think it was the right time to seek out a relationship; and my contentment with singleness kept me from pursuing any one of them.
But this year another girl has caught my attention, far more so than the other three! I have already written about her in the past two blogs. I have been trying to get to know her more, but it is hard since our schedules conflict. Also, lately it seems she isn’t too interested in getting to know me. I could be completely wrong though. Whenever we do talk (two or three times a week), she still talks as one who is interested in talking (as opposed to one who wants to get away!). Yet there is a part of me that thinks she isn’t interested in a relationship.
Consequently, I have backed off a bit. I’ve also realized that I should be focusing more on being a godly brother in Christ. In fact, God has been teaching me a few things throughout this “situation” (for lack of a better term). For example:
- I’ve been reminded more and more of my continual need to be content as a single man — and I believe, by God’s grace, I am still content! Yet within my contentment, I’m trying to learn how to honor and delight in the Lord by seeking what the Bible calls “good”, namely, a wife (Proverbs 18:22). It is an interesting challenge. It seems almost contradictory. But I think not. Rather, my contentment enables me to recognize that no matter how the pursuit ends, God will be glorified, and His good and perfect will will be accomplished.
- I’ve been reminded of my need to pursue Christ-likeness at all times. Christ was holy. Christ was pure. Christ obeyed the Father always. Christ loved. Christ humbly served. Christ proclaimed the good news of the Kingdom of God. Christ called people to repentance. Christ made the Father’s name known. Christ was righteous. The list can go on! I need to be Christ-like. As a single man, or as a married man, I want to be Christ-like. And this need has been more pronounced during this time of wanting to get to know this girl. Because every day it is so obvious that I am a sinner. Every day it is so obvious that I have a wicked heart. It is so obvious that I need sanctification. And when I am married (Lord willing), it will be my responsibility to lead my family, to disciple my children, to love my wife like Christ loved the church; so it is paramount for me to pursue Christ-likeness. Even if I don’t get married, it is paramount for me to pursue Christ-likeness, for I am a Christian; and as a Christian, I am called to be a godly witness to the world, and to serve the body of Christ.
- As I briefly mentioned in the first bullet point: No matter what the outcome, God will be glorified! If we do not become friends and if we never enter into a covenant of marriage together, I’m so thankful to the Lord for using this situation to remind me of His sovereignty and of His goodness. I’m also thankful to the Lord for teaching me contentment, and reminding me of my need to pursue Christ-likeness (and it’s so awesome to know that the Holy Spirit is the One who will produce Christ-likeness within me!).
So as of now, I just really would like to be a brother in Christ to her. If it’s God will for a deeper relationship to begin (which would be sweet), praise Him! If not, praise Him still!
josueraul
