To Find a Wife
I’ve been trying to get to this know girl more; yet I wonder if I should continue trying. I want to continue trying, but it seems like my efforts are an attempt to force a relationship, rather than allowing a relationship to naturally develop. This is discouraging me.
Before being introduced to her, I was completely content being single. In fact I still am content. If the Lord wills for me to be single all my life, I will be content. By His grace, I will be given joy to live faithfully to the Lord as a single man.
But I would love to have a wife. And as I’ve gotten to know this girl, I see the kind of woman I want to marry. She is someone who loves the Lord. Truly. She is someone who is seeking the Lord on a daily basis — seeking to know Him through prayer and study of His Word so that she might have wisdom on how to live a life worthy of the Gospel. It seems her mind is constantly given over to the Lord, that she might be pleasing to Him in all she thinks, says, and does. She just presents herself as one who is surrendered to the Lord. No doubt she is not perfect. But by God’s grace, she is one who is daily taking up her cross and following Jesus. This is the kind of woman I want to marry.
Whether or not it is God’s will for her and I to be together I know not. One thing I do know. I must be faithful to the Lord during this time of my singleness. Additionally, I must have the mindset that my responsibility as a man in a relationship is to love my wife like Christ loved the Church. Christ came not to be served, but to serve. He came not to receive pleasure, but to lay down His life for His bride, that she might be saved and have eternal life. Likewise, as a husband, it will be my responsibility, joy, and privilege to love my wife in such a way that reflects the love of Jesus. This means serving my wife. This means giving up my life in order to edify her, to nourish her, to provide for her, to protect her. It means living my life in such a way that is submitted to the Lord, led by the Lord, and pleasing to the Lord, so that He would graciously use me as an instrument for my wife’s sanctification.
So I’m trying to have this mindset as I get to know this girl. The mindset that says: “I am getting to know you not in order to find a girl who will please me, satisfy my needs, and make me feel good about myself. Rather, I am getting to know you so that, with God’s wisdom, I can determine whether or not it is His will for you to be the woman I will love like Christ loved the Church.”
Ephesians 5:25-31
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.
josueraul
